9 – OF QUEERS, JEERS, AND FEARS: Writing Centers as (Im)Possible Safe Spaces: A Reflection Piece
After reading this chapter of Out in the Center, which detailed a Writing Center employees’ realization of his vulnerability and potential marginalization because of his queer identity, we had several personal reflections in response on our own experiences as WAs. We hope that by collectively reflecting on our experiences here, we can provide others an insight into how we as queer WAs grapple with our identities in Swarthmore’s Writing Center.
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As a queer WA, I often evaluate whether I should, like the author, “hang my queer identity at the door” when I enter a conference. I will adjust or hide when I perceive a possible higher-risk situation. For example, once I met with a student who wrote about the morally corrupting influence of “effeminate” men on the culture, so I put on the best masculine straight persona I could muster to remove myself from scrutiny.
Nevertheless, not all papers will cue us ahead of time to be careful, and aspects of identity are bound to come out in such intimate spaces as one-on-one conferences, intentionally or not. That’s why it’s important that we as LGBTQ+ WAs don’t bear the responsibility for making our own comfort all by ourselves – it takes the writing center community as a whole.
Separately, a note to self: don’t gaslight myself. Environments are formed by more than me and my perceptions, so if I perceive something that seems off, I may not be crazy. My expectations are formed by the real environments and experiences I have had, so I shouldn’t constantly second guess myself – sometimes allow for the possibility that my discomfort isn’t just me being hyper-aware.
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Even if we work to make the Writing Center an accepting and affirming space, (e.g. putting supports in place to debrief conferences with writers), as a WA holding a marginalized identity there is still potential for a harmful encounter with a writer. This possibility and vulnerability both makes the work that we do within the Writing Center important and also connects the Writing Center to the rest of the world. It reminds me why it is important to participate in efforts outside of the Writing Center as well as within it.
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Identity is not a factor to be ignored in the Writing Center. Although it may sometimes feel seamless to sweep away those parts of yourself that might render you marginalized, it might be difficult to do so responsibly in a space that relies on trust, intimacy, and reciprocity. To establish those key tenets of a conference, we need to be honest with ourselves about how our identities, and those of writers in the center, shape our interactions. We cannot incubate conferences in the center as though they are entirely separate from identity, as the latter significantly influences how we communicate with others.
2
In the Writing Center and in life more broadly, it is very possible to be privileged and marginalized at the same time because of different identities that I hold. Navigating how my work in the Writing Center will encounter these different dynamics- both holding myself accountable and acknowledging potential marginalization and vulnerability- is challenging but necessary work. For me it has definitely been a good start, though, to have conversations among WAs that share marginalized identities.
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Even if conferencing can be unpredictable, I feel like I can trust the Writing Center with this aspect of my identity more than most other places. There are some “other places” in my life that compel my anonymity here, but at the Writing Center I become bolder to be my unrestrained self, regardless of the risks.